I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize