ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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