And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize