I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
