Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
