he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I FOUND THE LEGS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
