You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
