I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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