gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
