I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
