So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
