Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
