you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
