Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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