Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize