Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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