He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
should my penis look like a turkey
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Bring me that man meat
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
