Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I love you. Go after that dick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
