508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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