I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
