I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You have to summon your inner elephant
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
