Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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