I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
