somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
