I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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