i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
