I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize