apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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