Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize