So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
