I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
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I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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