Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
