you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
