He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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