Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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