check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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