oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Watching her eat just hurts me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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