Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm lost and stupid without you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
