also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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