Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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