hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize