i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the liver wants what the liver wants
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
