I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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