If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize