If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
