so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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