Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
