the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
