And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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