what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize