soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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