i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
