Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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