Welp...herpes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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