I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
