the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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