i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
why is half of my head shaved?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
