It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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