every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
